What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common? They both squeal when you throw them.
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.
Bully: Shut up.
Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
