Throw jokes
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
A Russian, a Cuban, and an Englishman are on a ship. The Russian takes a swig of vodka and throws the bottle overboard. The Cuban and Englishman with astonishment say to the Russian, "What did you do that for?"
The Russian says, "In Russia, we got an unlimited supply of vodka."
A little while later, the Cuban lights up a cigar, takes a puff, and throws it overboard. The Cuban says, "We got an unlimited supply of Cuban Cigars in Cuba."
Then the Englishman grabs a Paki and throws him overboard...
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.
First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"
Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"
And throws the White man off of the building.
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.
So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
Why was the rapper bad at fishing?
Because he always threw back the lines!
How do rappers stay cool during summer?
They throw SHADE.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.