Three jokes

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?

Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.

How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?

Flip it upside down.

Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.

The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.

Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!

What do you call a dick with three eyes?

Preston.

I saw some terrorists on Family Feud. It looked like they had three strikes!

How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three, because it’s the normal person's height.

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.

He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there's a knock at the door.

He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says, "What was that all about?"

Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.

The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

How many thots have I bullied?

Three. The rest are dead.

Us three get along well. I guess you could say we're the TREE-o!

Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."

Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."