Thought jokes

What did the porg say to the porg?

Hi Porg.

You're on worst jokes ever. You thought I put up a good joke? HAHAHAH!

I thought @$$hole Trump was a businessman, not a broke man.

Yo mama is so fat, I thought she was a beach whale.

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."

My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0

This is not a joke; this is just about death...

I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.

Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

I thought it would be fun to become a shooter. It became less fun when I realized that "shooting a woman up" also included a condom.

Everyone thought I'd have a great year...

14 years just gave me more chances.

Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.

A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.

If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.

Does anyone ever get tired of being random? Me neither.

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.

Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.

Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!

Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.

–Pluto.

1273 please kill me, everyone hates me.

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was Mount Chiliad.