Thought jokes

A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...

This is a Rickroll. The joke is that you thought you were going to get something else, but instead you got Rickrolled.

Yo mama is so fat, I thought she was a beach whale.

What did the porg say to the porg?

Hi Porg.

You're on worst jokes ever. You thought I put up a good joke? HAHAHAH!

I thought @$$hole Trump was a businessman, not a broke man.

I was watching Avengers and I thought I saw a grape, but it was just Thanos.

Yo mama so fat!

She sunk the Titanic. She put on a blue coat and they thought she was an iceberg!

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.

–Pluto.

Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.

Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!

1273 please kill me, everyone hates me.

The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."

Bitch: Nice eyebrows.

Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?

Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Sodapop Curtis was actual soda.

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was Mount Chiliad.

My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0

This is not a joke; this is just about death...

I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.

On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."