Thought

Thought jokes

Fish

    • There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

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    • Prostate exam

    • I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.

    I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.

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    • Torch

    • I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

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    • Viagra

    • Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.

    Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?

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    • Backpack

    • You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

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    • Yo mama

    • Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.

    Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.

    Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.

    Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.

    Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.

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    • Mama

    • Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.

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    • Grocery

    • I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"

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    • Yo Momma

    • Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!

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