I get so many thing stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween? Because that thought the pumkins were them. I tried
I got a ps5 for my nine year old sister. At the time I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore
yo mum so fat, when she telling me her weight i thought she was telling her number
yo mama so fat when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed they thought AHH SWAT
Bro I thought your hair line was the dorito logo
When someone saw your hairline they thought it was a dorito logo
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Teacher: hi class today we wll learn about the song, London Bridge is falling down falling down, then one student said I thought it was "twin towers are falling down falling down"!
People trying too stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT”
You're so skinny you're a thin stick You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean you became the Pacific Ocean You're so ugly you got stuff for free You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti you thought it was throw up You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth You are so gay you kiss the boy last night
your hairline so far back that when i put on my glasses i thought i saw a M for Mcdonald's on your hairline
Your forehead is so big I thought it was a brick wall
I ate the emo emo no mi from one piece it gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
You're so ugly when a pig saw you it thought that you were there family member .
What does a relationship and suicidal thoughts have in common? They’ll both end soon.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family
YOUR SO GODDAMN STUPID YOU THOUGHT DUNKIN DONUTS WAS A BASKETBALL TEAM.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said “what happened to all the parents?” She sounded so confused so i told her “its only yours kid, they left you on purpose” she cried i felt bad for a second and the thought oh well time to back to my job at the orphanage
A woman was sitting alone at a bar and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sadly. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time she burst open her bedroom door and she said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand and a 12 inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants and came on your curtains. It's been fun!
