This jokes

Ruler

    • One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

    Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

    Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

    Homework

    • One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"

    The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"

    And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"

    The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"

    Johnny replied with, "OK."

    Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"

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    • Joke site

    • People who are bothering Gwen, stop. This is a joke site, and you guys should know that!

    People, she is not even 40 or whatever. I see the comments, and they are so stupid. Do you even know her in life? No!!! Shut up and leave her alone!

    This memes

    Time

    • I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀

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    • Comedian

    • *walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

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    • Monkey

    • Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"

    The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.

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    • Job

    • I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...

    Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com

    Adoption

    • I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

    Pencil

    • You remind me of a pencil.

    Why?

    Because at one time, you actually made a valid point. This time, everything is pointless with you around.

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    • Snake

    • A sister went to her brother's room and says,

    "I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

    "Yes, sis."

    "What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

    "My pet snake."

    "Can I pet it?"

    "Yes."

    He wakes up in a hospital.

    "What happened?"

    "Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

    "You dummy!"

    "Whaaat?"

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    • Rifle

    • This is rifle. ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一 He needs help being spread across this website. Copy this message and paste it on any joke upon this website. Spread and save rifle.

    Bacon

    • Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

    Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

    Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

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