This jokes
Sorry for this Pick Up Line.
Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."
For my birthday on Sept. 11 this year, I just want a plane chocolate cake.
Kyler, go on this one.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
Hi guys, I just found this website. I got emailed by joshisboss or something. Have a great day! 👍
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
This is an a-maze-ing joke!
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
Okay, okay, why [are] people askin[g] where I went[?] I[']m always on this website. Never think I[']m not.
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.