This jokes

I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."

"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."

"If you got a question, just shoot!"

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

Anybody can use this :)

Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.

Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

How ironic is this?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers.

For my birthday on Sept. 11 this year, I just want a plane chocolate cake.

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!

This town ain't big enough for the one of you.

The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!

I wonder how many people read this wrong.

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

I am so disappointed in this race.

Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.

If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.