This jokes

For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

How ironic is this?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers.

This is how I got [redacted]

This town ain't big enough for the one of you.

The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔

I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."

"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."

"If you got a question, just shoot!"

Why the fuck is this guy calling me a crying bitch?

See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.

Anybody can use this :)

Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

I am so disappointed in this race.

Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.

I wonder how many people read this wrong.