This jokes

I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?

Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"

I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.

Why are orphans not on this?

They don’t want to listen to the dumbos on here!

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

"Gwen, this was a fake look in the comments!"

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)

Hey, who thinks Gwen and Aiden are not dating, and who also thinks this dumb girl named "Zre" is being a dummy? And who thinks Gwen belongs with Prince, aka boyfriend?

Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.

I've done a skele-TON of work to think of this joke. Trust me, I've got a FEW more jokes!