This jokes

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

A: This rice is very delicious!

B: Ya! It is more delicious if it is cooked.

Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.

I've done a skele-TON of work to think of this joke. Trust me, I've got a FEW more jokes!

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

Boy: I'm dead.

Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?

Boy: No, I was just born this way.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Maserati.

Maserati who?

Why don't you clean up this Maserati?

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?

Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.

Dad: She had to take the deep penis.

Son: Umm...... WHAT!?

Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.

Dad: Oh for god's sakes.

Dad: Epi Pen.

What is this joke?

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"