Think jokes

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

What do you think about the game "Fortnite?"

Shit.

Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?

Me: Look at the stars in the sky.

Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?

Me: No, it’s a waste of time.

Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.

Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.

You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.

Why are orphans so sad?

Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."

It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

Eugenics is Hitler-like and, more importantly, feminist thinking.

If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.

That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.

You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.

Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.

Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.

Where do you think all the orphans went?

In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.

I don't think jokes are very funny.

Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

What's the funniest joke ever?

Rapboat thinking he can rap.

My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.

I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.

The things you do for your cousins!

My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."