Think jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.

It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-

It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

Eugenics is Hitler-like and, more importantly, feminist thinking.

Why are orphans so sad?

Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?

Me: Look at the stars in the sky.

Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?

Me: No, it’s a waste of time.

Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.

Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.

What do you think about the game "Fortnite?"

Shit.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.

That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.

If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.

Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.

Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.

Where do you think all the orphans went?

In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.

You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.

Two men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of them would have ducked.

Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?

I don't think jokes are very funny.

There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ⁠◡⁠ಠ