Think Jokes

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles, His teacher asked "Three birds where sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said "No, but I like the way you think!" Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said "Little Johnny!" He replied "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"

Son: "Nah, mostly men."

Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court.."

My wife thinks i'm immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Dad: School is cancelled, I think your teacher died or something Me: Wow they found the body already? Dad: :/

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

I once saw a one handed man in a second hand store. I said to him: "i don't think they have what you're looking for sir"

How do you think the unthinkable? With an ithberg.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

His father says, "Son,you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.

His father says, "Hi, Honoured, I'm Dad."

What do you think is going through kids heads during school shootings. Bullets

A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight" He was priest.

When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great but when I tell them to others they tend to crash and burn

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was talking to a beaver about my life. I dont think he really gave a dam about it at all.

Obama, Trump and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

Obama: This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children! Trump Screw the women and children! Clinton: Do you think we have time...?