Things jokes
9/11, 911, same thing.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?
Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards...
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!