Things jokes
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?
Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards...
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
"What's 9 + 10?"
"21" (lol XD)
Also:
"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)
One more thing:
Ninja has ligma.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."