Things jokes
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?
Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards...
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.
I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.
Friend: What was the first?
Me: They- they weren't always orphans.
Friend: O-O
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"