Things jokes
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.
Friend: What was the first?
Me: They- they weren't always orphans.
Friend: O-O
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
"What's 9 + 10?"
"21" (lol XD)
Also:
"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)
One more thing:
Ninja has ligma.
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"