Things

Things jokes

Best thing ever right here.

So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.

If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?

🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦁🦁🦁🐩🐖🐒🐷🐵🐎+/;!¥/%? Fuckfuckfuuk of your own is also a joke about your relationship with Google and Twitter users who don't know what they think of their own personal life, and the way they have been involved since the last few years of debate is the only thing.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.

What's the code thing on Minecraft that decides the world generation?

Seed?

Seedeeznuts!

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.

It's a good thing I'm married.

The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.

There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.