What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐๐๐ท๐ต๐+/;!ยฅ/%? Fuckfuckfuuk of your own is also a joke about your relationship with Google and Twitter users who don't know what they think of their own personal life, and the way they have been involved since the last few years of debate is the only thing.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
Whatโs one thing orphans donโt have on their computer? A home page.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, โMommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddyโs clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...โ.
The mother cuts him off and says, โJust stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.โ A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, โIโm leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.โ Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. โDaddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.โ