Thing jokes

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the

Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.

What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?

Lots of fans.

Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?

Because they were triplets!

What was the last thing that went through PH's head?

Water and smoke.

Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?

The knee caps.

What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.

What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?

Play pretend dog in the bed.

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."

Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.

The first ever joke:

https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/52b8feb0514efb2cbf8ca375/what-is-the-second-hardest-thing-in-the-morning?

A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."

So I replied, "No, it doesn't."

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"