Thing Jokes

Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?

A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.

A black and brown dachshund walks with its back legs very stiffly while its front legs are more relaxed. The text on the image reads "Me playing with my son's thing when I change his diaper (The way it wiggles is funny)"

A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."

So I replied, "No, it doesn't."

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?

The knee caps.

What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.

What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?

Play pretend dog in the bed.

What are two things that an orphan can’t have?

Two parents.

Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?

A: “Holes gonna be big.”

I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.

What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?

The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.

So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the