Thing jokes
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
Memes
i need help i see this everywhere i look it kinda look like this
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
Nothing, she was hung over.
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
What an upside to being an orphan!
There's things called family-size bags.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelephant.