Thing jokes
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
Nothing, she was hung over.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
I love still things.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.
What was the last thing that went through PH's head?
Water and smoke.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>