Thing jokes

(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?

Throw a plate.

It’s broken, right?

Say “sorry” to it.

Did it fix back?

No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)

Hi guys, the prankster is back!

I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!

Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.

Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."

Q: What’s the hardest thing about fucking a dude with a dildo?

A: Making sure he doesn’t wake up.

You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.

What an upside to being an orphan!

There's things called family-size bags.

You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.

My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.

How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?

Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.

What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?

A full house.

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.

Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?

Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.

The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.

Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?

Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.

Man: Shit!

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.