Thing jokes
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing?
Except at a funeral.
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.