Thing jokes
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" π π π π π π π truth ong fr π Face with thing is funny or... π π π π the
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Memes
What are two things that an orphan canβt have?
Two parents.
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?
Because they were triplets!
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
I love still things.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasnβt the only thing that went down.
You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.