Thing jokes
Going in a military.
The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
There's something on your chin. No, not that one, the third row.
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
What's the funniest thing you ever read? For me it was when Rapboat told me he was a legit rapper.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
What do Roblox bots do that's both a type of meat and an annoying thing?
Spam.
I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
I don't trust atoms.
They make up everything.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
So, a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says, “Is there a problem, boyoh?”
“I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!” The man replies, “I’m a leprechaun.”
“Really?” says the man.
“That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper.”
“Anything I want?! Three of them?” replies the man.
“Anything in your wildest dreams, boyoh, but you have to let me finish.”
The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts it in. Thrusting back and forth, he asks for the man’s first wish.
“I want a giant yacht!”
“Aye,” says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now.”
“For my second wish, I want a billion dollars,” the man says, beginning to sweat.
“Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you,” the leprechaun replies.
“Okay,” the man groans in pain. “For my final wish, I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women.”
“You betcha, boyoh,” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW,” as he lets out a moan of pleasure.
The man, exhausted and sore, says, “That was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?”
The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “Aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
Technoblade was the second worst thing that happened to orphans.
Guys, they weren’t always orphans!
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.