Thing jokes
Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
What does Joyce from the show "Stranger Things" say when she has a flat tire? "Wheil, wheil, wheres wheil?"
What an upside to being an orphan!
There's things called family-size bags.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.
Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.
Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: Good night!
Prince: Why?
Gwen: Because...now good night!
Prince: We can work some things out?
Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!
To be continued
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.
The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."
"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.
"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
A guy once went hunting at a Hunting Ranch owned by a Hunter and his Wife. After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in Rancher’s Living-room. There they were having a grand ole time until the Rancher’s wife walks in. The Hunter looks at her and says “that’s a nice piece of ass you got your self there.” The Rancher replied “(with a harsh southern accent from years of cigarette smoke) You’ve never been so right in your life, honey why don’t show our guest your tits.” She agrees and then shows the hunter her plump DD cup breast. After he gets a good gander he says “Nice.” Then Rancher shouted “show em yer peker now Hon.” She agreed and whipped out a 13inch Johny, and twirled it around like how an Elephant would move his. Now dazed and confused the Hunter yells out “What in Sam Hill is that!!” and the Rancher replied “Now....Lemme tell you..There ain’t a thing like it”.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.
That one never gets old, just like the baby.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!