They jokes
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. They got plane.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?
A: They are not wanted.
Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.