They jokes
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.
Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.
You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."
...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"
Why can't Orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why can't emos stand in chairs?
Because they never get down.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home plate is.
Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.