They jokes
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
Because they come in family size.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.