They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
What did the poo say to the ass?
"I left you."
Why Cristiano Ronaldo loves oranges??
Because they contain vitamin suiiiii!
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always know where the BEAT is.
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
Why don't Jedis make puns that often?
They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)
See, I was always told puns are funny.
But I can see now they aren't punny.
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the other contraction they know.
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
People so dumb they think they're "transblind" like WTF, idiots!
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
Fart jokes are so popular because they are real stinkers.
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.
Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.
