They jokes

Cat

There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.

There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.

Condom

Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.

Grass

What's the difference between cars and grass?

They both have wheels, except for the grass.

Dog

All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.

They run and play along the streets of Gold.

Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...

Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.

Dog

Why do dogs howl?

Because that's the other contraction they know.

Survivor

Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?

Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.

Orphan

When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Kid

Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!

China

Why do you think China should have a baseball team?

They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.

People

I have a riddle for you:

10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.

Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”

Once he eats it, he starts crying.

Why?

Penis

A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.

Obama

During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.

Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.

Kangaroo

In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.

Kid

This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...