They jokes
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
No?
They both got six months.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Worst punishment of all
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.
A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
I don’t think 9/11 jokes are funny... they just crash and burn.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
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