They jokes
I used to think that Jewish people were a myth.
But one day I realized, they Israel.
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.
So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost 2 towers.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until they see their parents.
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes? They never grow old.
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They told her to go find the light.
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
Stop making jokes about disabled people; they can’t stand up for themselves.
What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.
Damn Americans, they fucking suck at Clash Royale.
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.