They jokes
Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.
Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.
I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.
Your hairline and your forehead must have a lot in common because they go waaaaaaaayyy back!
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.
The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"
He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."
They eat them, jump off, and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
Why do orphans miss half the basketball season?
They don't have home games.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
Why aren't orphans good at poker?
Because they don't know what a "full home" is!
The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.