They jokes
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
Memes
Women are like marshmallows because they are white, squashy, and we put our sticks inside you.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
Do you know why orphans can't get married?
Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
What are the similarities between apples and emos?
They both hang from trees.
Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.
Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.
And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.
I guess in British chess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without two towers.
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
What to do when you're bored? Punch an orphan in the face. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.