They jokes
Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
What do orphans do after they win a game?
Nothing, they have no one to play games with.
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have another pair of balls.
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
I usually don't make 9/11 jokes, but they just are fire.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they always return.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."