They jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
They say people are 75% water.
But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless.
It would be fun, they said...
It was unsinkable, they said...
Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."
The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."
The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
Why do mountains get so big?
They have no natural predators.