They jokes

Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?

Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.

We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.

I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.

He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.

Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!

What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both got taken out by two jets.

Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?

Because they don't have father's and mother's days.

Why can't England play chess?

Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"I thought what we had was special!"

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.

Why don’t Indians play soccer?

Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.

Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?

The sound when they hit the windshield.

So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.

“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.

“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.

So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”

“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”

Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.

One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.

So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.

The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."

"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."

"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."

Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!