They jokes
What did one skeleton say to another?
...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.
Don't trust atoms, people, they make up everything!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
Why can't orphans play rounders?
Because they don't know where home is.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t get to home run!
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.