They jokes
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.
Someone bullied a disabled person.
The disabled person said they can't stand it.
Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never find home.
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.
Light it up blue 🔵
Why are orphans always famous?
Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(Just a joke, no offense.)