They jokes

The Towers wanted pepperoni pizza, but they got planned.

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?

Because they had a fight, and 2021.

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?

They both enjoy digging up the past.

What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?

They both get really high.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.

Why don't orphans like getting lost?

Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"

Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?

A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.

Why do gay men hate periods? Because they per Collins.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

How do non-binary people kill people?

They slash them.

What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?

They usually don’t live to tell the tale.

All countries will get Covid.

Except China, they got it right off the bat.

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?

They both get smoked in bowls.