They jokes
Pep called; they want their unpadded bra back.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
There was a house with a three-story building.
The first one had Mexicans.
The second one had Africans.
The third one had white people.
An earthquake came.
But who did survive?
The white family because they were at work.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
They need a parent's signature.
Why do the orphans fuck in their cars?
Because they don't know what a home is.
Why do orphans love Oreos?
Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: Because they can’t find home.
I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?
Because they were triplets!
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"