They jokes

Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?

They ate the bat!

Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.

The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!

Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?

A: Because they are humerus.

I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.

What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?

"Want me to pack your shit?"

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?

Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"

Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.

Why can orphans not play bingo?

Because they can't get a full house.

If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What did the ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean? Answer: Nothing, they just waved.

What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both try to get there before the hair does.

Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!

Me: Why? They don't land well together?

Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."

"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.

Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D

How do Chinese people name their babies?

They chuck a pan down the stairs.