They jokes
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.
They never get old.
Why do men have penises?
They gotta shut women up somehow.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
It’s me back at it again.
The earth was flat till they buried yo mama!!!
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
Why do orphans play tennis? Because that's the only thing they love.
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).