Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they did 98 stories in 10 seconds.
They Jokes
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
Orphans are like a trash can; they live outside.
Why didn't the Twin Towers order cheese pizza?
They like pepperoni, not plane!
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Most likely because they can't find home.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Why canβt orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both canβt get up without a dog.
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
Why do orphans play GTA?
They want to be wanted.
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
