They jokes
The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
Me listening to some random lgbtq protester say Its racist to ask somebody if they want free fried chicken
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
Emos are dark people....
...So why are they all white?
Goths are even darker...
SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
Why do people want to jump off buildings?
Because they want to become Superman.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
Bored?
Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."