They jokes

How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.

Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.

"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.

The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.

Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."

Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.

25 at a time.

When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."

A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

why do orphans go to church?

because they can finally call someone "father."

Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?

They can both do dirty things.

Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?

Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.

Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.

Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents

Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.

Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?

Because they are afraid of American airdrops.

Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.