So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
Come on guys, it's not nice to make fun of autism. I mean really, the Riot devs try their best, but just because they have autism does not mean you can make fun of them. Make fun of them for something else, like their Down syndrome.
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
Why are smurfs blue?
Because they get bruises all the time.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
how many russians does it take to change a light bulb. I don't know they just keep Putin them in.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
