They jokes
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have mothers' and Father’s Day.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Why are they called "breaking news" in the entire world?
Because they are breaking the whole entire news.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
I love telling jokes about orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.