They jokes
Women are like marshmallows because they are white, squashy, and we put our sticks inside you.
What country has been the hottest in recent years?
Sri Lanka, they had 3 bombs in a day!
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
French fries weren't originally cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
Why don't orphans go to Family Dollar? They don't have a family to go with 'em.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.