Girls with natural hair act as if they have shares in Africa.
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back.
What's the difference between a submarine and Madeline McCann?
They are both full of seamen and at the bottom of the sea.
Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale? Because they lost both towers.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's sign M.
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
