They jokes

Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.

Orphan: Realizes.

Why did the orphan cry to the teacher? Because they have no one else.

What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

What's the difference between a submarine and Madeline McCann?

They are both full of seamen and at the bottom of the sea.

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."

The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.