Theses

Theses jokes

I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.

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    • I finally got my wife to shut up.

    Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!

    One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

    Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

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    • A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,

    "Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"

    She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.

    And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"

    Why are cheetahs the best animals?

    The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.

    A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.

    Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.

    Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.

    One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.

    Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.

    While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.

    A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.

    Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.

    With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.

    Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.

    These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."

    These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"

    I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

    You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.

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