Thereness jokes

The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"

"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."

"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"

"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."

"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"

"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."

"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"

Why can’t orphans go to a family restaurant?

Because there’s no family.

There's something special about cemeteries.

People are dying to get inside.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Queen.

Queen who?

You don't know the queen? You're crazy!

Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?

Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.

There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).

There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.

His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"

The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"

There is a young lady.

She is beautiful.

She got much vote.

But she speaks very fast.

Does she think she looks smart doing that?

She makes me feel bad.

Genders are like the Twin Towers.

There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a sensitive subject.

Is it all right when there is nothing left?

Is that a person over there?

Na, it's Jesus.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."

Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause there's no home base...

Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.

"Can you tie a knot?"

"I cannot."

"So you can knot?"

"No, I cannot knot."

"Not knot?"

"Who's there?"

"F... off!"

There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.

What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left there hanging.