Thereness jokes
Your hairline goes so far back, even the Proclaimers wouldn't walk there.
"2001 just called and they want their towers back."
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Island.
Island who?
Island the one that knows you!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
No thank you!
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.
Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"
Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?
A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Bless you!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!