Thereness jokes
I don't like stairs. They're always up to something.
I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
Why is there a hole in Uranus?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Well, you don't have to cry about it, Gary.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Johnny.
Johnny who?
Johnny want yo' mommy.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe, just maybe you'll find a brain back there!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I did.
I did who?
You did a poo.
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.
There were two twins, and they were both very tall.
The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.