Thereness jokes
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dragon.
Dragon deez nuts.
Dragon deez nuts who?
DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Memes
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
What's the difference between school and Hell?
There is no difference.
There are two types of people, avoid them both.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Teacher: I am an orphan.
Students: Oof.
Teacher: Is there anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they will tell their parents.
Why were the Twin Towers scared for dinner? Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.