Thereness jokes
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
Roses are red, violets are blue. You belong in a zoo, but don't worry, I'll be there too. Just not in a cage, I'll be laughing at you.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
I like to make your mom jokes.
Because they're easy like your mom.
Why do orphans go to church?
They have someone to call "father" there.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
Wanna hear a joke?
Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
"2001 just called and they want their towers back."