Thereness jokes
Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
So there was a reason why I hated math.
I suck at problem-solving.
Sans: What do you have there?
Frisk: A KNIFE!
Sans: NOO!!!
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
There is a country in Africa. It's called Djibouti. It has a crack in it!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Isabell?
Isabell really needs to go on a bicycle.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
There are women complaining about being r@ped.
JUST DON'T GO NEAR DARK ALLEYS WITH A SPORTS BRA ON. 😁
Denise.
What more is there to say?
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.
Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Joe: Why?
Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.
Jimmy: Knock knock.
Joe: Who’s there?
Jimmy: It’s the chicken.
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
Today there was a line to punch me.
Yeah, that was the punch line.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.