Thereness jokes
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.
Have a guess who came crawling back?
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Your hairline is like a math expression, there is no solution.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hankery panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Frankey.
McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.
I made a website for orphans.
There’s no homepage.
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Yo mamma so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he was just asking her to get out the way.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."