Thereness jokes
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?
Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
Why can’t orphans go to a family restaurant?
Because there’s no family.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.