Thereness jokes
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they will tell their parents.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.
Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.
There was an emo kid in their room, boom, they're all gone, now.
Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, there is no homepage.
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
Teacher: I am an orphan.
Students: Oof.
Teacher: Is there anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.