Therapy jokes
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.
Fill it out if u want
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
Q: What makes depressed kids jump?
A: Bridges.
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."
When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."
Therapist: So what brought you here today?
Wife: He's too literal.
Therapist: And you, sir?
Husband: My truck.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
Community talk
music is my kind of therapy.🎧
I promised myself dead 3 years ago on June 16th. 2:30am by cutting my throat. It is now March third 2026. I have broken a promise, for once. Breaking this promise feels good. I almost commited to the bit, therapy didn't help. Not a bit. But what I was thinking of were my animals. my friends and family. Knowing my mom would blame herself. my dad would start being more aggressive. my sister might have gone depressed. A… Read more
I'm thinking about killing myself. No beacause I want to die, not because my life is "horrible." but beacause it would just be easier. I've hurt everyone I've crossed at least once. My dad wouldn't have to yell anymore. My therapist and friends wouldn't worry. My war would be over. I wouldn't hurt anyone else. There would be peace with my leaving. Maybe it would hurt people, but maybe it's give them time to stop worrying, to heal. It's not like "I'm going to do it," and it's not me having a mental breakdown I feel calm I just feel Life would be easier without me. I fear I already know the answers I'm going to get to this. But i do truly believe, it would be easier without me.